Crazy Moments

Everyone always asks me how I possibly manage twins and and two year old.  Lately, I always have the same answer: "For the most part it is actually pretty easy.  There are just incredibly crazy moments that sometimes arise."  It's really true the boys sleep a lot so most of the day I feel like I am just dealing with Liv.  And when they are awake, they are usually happy to just lay around or sit in a swing.  But, every so often shear craziness breaks out, and it usually only lasts for a few minutes but those minutes are hair-pulling.  Thought I would share a few of those moments so that hopefully some day I can look back and laugh.

I think the first really crazy moment Derek and I experienced was when we took the boys into the pediatrician for their circumcisions just a couple days after we got home from the hospital.  I packed up the diaper bag for our first outing.  I remember we packed 8 diapers thinking that would be ample for the hour we would be gone.  We got there and of course they were hungry so I nursed them in the waiting room one at a time.  I'm sure all the office staff and other patients thought that alone looked crazy.  Nursing one baby tossing it to Derek then him handing me another to nurse, but that was the easy part.  Then, I changed them both and they took us back to our room.  They both get the procedure done, and then we are left in the room for ten minutes because they just want to make sure the bleeding was minimal before they sent us home.  They are both fussing a little which is understandable considering what they just went through and both poop while we are waiting.  The nurse comes in to check on the boys and send us home, and this is when craziness breaks out.  We decide to change their diapers while she is checking on everything.  I don't really remember the exact run down of everything I just remember poop squirting and pee spraying out of both boys simultaneously and getting all over everyone's clothes and the patient table.  Derek and I are both  running around grabbing new outfits, new diapers, wipes, something to cover the offending parts, etc.  The nurse is standing there just watching us frantically trying to control the situation and saying how well we seem to be handling these twins (HA!)  We got home, were exhausted, and had somehow managed to go through all 8 diapers in that one little outing.  That experience taught me to always pack way more diapers than that every time I leave the house.  But, they are sure cute!

When everyone gets tired at the same time things sometimes don't go down well.  Nap time and bedtime are consistently hard times.  One day both boys were tired and kind of fussing and Liv needed a nap and was hanging on my leg fussing.  So, I am in the boys room switching between holding whoever is fussing louder in one hand and then somehow pulling Liv off their crib because she keeps trying to climb in it while I am trying to get them to go to sleep in it.  As this process gets repeated over and over again everyone's fussing is progressing to screaming.  Finally, I throw Liv in the hall and shut their down which has a child lock on the outside of it, and she falls to the floor outside their door screaming.  So, I am hiding from my screaming two year old in a room with two screaming boys.  Craziness!  I took a deep breath and continued rocking whomever was fussier at the moment until they calmed down and then went to get Liv down for her nap.  But, they sure are cute.

 The other night I went to visit a friend in the hospital who had just had a baby.  I left Derek with all 3 kids.  To his credit, I left him in the evening when Liv needed to go down for bed and that is typically the trickiest part of the day with all 3 of these kids.  I was gone two hours and got panicked texts and calls throughout my entire visit.  Just thought I would post the stream of texts I received from him:

"Camden puked all over himself and the bouncy chair.  I mean he puked more than he weighs.  All over.  Fun times.  Need to wash the bouncy." 7:52 pm

"And I came back and London is cleaning up the puke." 7:56 pm

"You coming home?" 8:39 pm

But he sure is cute!

Camden has I guess has now taken on the role of Barfy because the other night he also puked all over the bed just after I had swaddled him back up during the middle of the night.  So, I change his blankets, tried to clean the bed a little, moved him to the very edge of the bed (the only place not soaking wet), and was about to turn out the light when I realize Carter's face is soaked with puke.  The poor guy got barfed on by his brother.  And, he was just staring wide-eyed and blinking...didn't make a peep about it.  If it had been reversed, Camden would have squealed about it.  Poor Carter, but he sure is cute.

Yesterday I tried to go to my office with all the kids.  Why I thought that was a good idea is beyond me.  I really wanted to get there around noon because we close the office for lunch so then I would cause less of a distraction.  Well, we got there at 1pm and here is why.  I sit down to feed the boys and Liv is in her shoes, socks, coat all ready to go as soon as I am done.  Liv comes into their room closing the door behind her and of course starts taking off her shoes, socks, coat even though I am pleading with her to keep them on (she sees that I am in no position to make her).  She then decides she wants to leave and keeps trying to open the door to get out but can't (even though I know she can).  I keep telling her I can't help her because I am stuck feeding the brothers for a while.  Well then she starts doing the potty dance, so I figure I better open the door somehow.  So, I carry my nursing pillow with both boys still attached and nursing over to the door and somehow open it and tell Liv to run to the potty.  Well, she runs to the kitchen and I keep yelling down the hall for her to go potty.  Finally, she comes slinking back to their room walking all awkwardly because she had pooped and peed in her underwear (she hasn't done that for weeks--not sure why she chose then to do it--maybe to prove a point).  Just then, I guess Camden ate too much or something because he starts barfing everything he ate all over me (all while Carter is still nursing).  He was soaked, every article of clothing I was wearing was soaked, the chair was soaked.  Just as I finish mopping that up, Carter pees through his outfit and all over me.  So, I get done nursing had to change my clothes, Liv's clothes, Camden's clothes, Carter's clothes.  I should have just bagged the whole going to my office idea right there, but Liv totally remembered we were going after I finished feeding the brothers and I didn't want to fight her.  So I loaded everyone into and out of and back into the car.  Phew!  But they sure are cute.

 Lastly, after the whole office incident yet another crazy moment occurred yesterday.  It's 5:30, dinner time, time for daddy to come home, and I swear the kids know.  Both boys are starting to fuss because they are tired but I can't get them to sleep.  So finally I lay them both in bed and let them scream and go to get my two year old dinner.  She asks what is for dinner, and I say pasta noodles, and she starts throwing a fit because she doesn't want that.  Then, she walks over to the stove and points at my pasta noodle dish and starts throwing another fit because she wants THAT.  Fine.  I put her in her high chair with the pasta noodles.  She tries them and decides they are too hot and starts screaming, so I put them in the freezer to cool off.  She starts screaming even more because she doesn't want them in the freezer (all the while both boys are still in their room screaming).  Then, I take them out of the freezer and in her anger she decides to throw her water cup and food all over the floor.  Time-out in her room with the door closed...she's screaming and kicking the door (all the while the boys are still screaming).  I am calling Derek and texting Derek but he is not home and not responding.  Then, I get Liv out of time out and bring her upstairs. I try to put her in her highchair and she throws a fit and says she want to sit on my lap.  Fine.  I sit her in her booster seat on a chair at the table so I can dish up she starts screaming because she wants to sit in my lap not the booster seat.  Fine.  We sit at the table with her on my lap and her plate and mine in front of us.  I try to give her a bite of her pasta but she throws a fit because she wants my pasta off my plate (which is the same as hers).  Fine.  I give her a bite of mine which leads to another fit because it's too hot.  Does it seem like we are going in circles?  Derek texts saying he is in a meeting and will be home late.  I relocate the boys to a swing (the one that isn't out of battery juice) and a bouncer by my foot.  I am bouncing one baby with my foot, another baby in a swing, a two year old on my lap...and a husband who is gonna be home late.  But they sure are cute.