Because the sting of rejection has now lessened a bit...

Once upon a time, I was a thespian. All through my childhood, I participated in as many plays as I had time for and even once got to be the leading lady. Those were the days...

I remember the first time my dreams of continuing these thespian traditions were shattered. I was a freshman at BYU and in an introduction to theatre class. They announced in class that auditions were being held for some Valentine-themed musical. This stirred up a familiar excitement in my thespian core, and I signed up for an audition. My talented roomate, Brittany Bankhead, played the piano for me so I could practice my audition piece in the basement of our dorm building as my faithful roomie Ashley cheered me on.

The day of auditions came. Song practiced, monologue memorized. I was ready (or so I thought). As I stood outside the audition room listening to the very talented fellow BYU students who were ahead of me, I soon realized that even if I mustered all the thespian skills I had, it would be no match to those who had gone before.

Unfortunately, as I listened to these real stars, I grew so nervous that by the time it was my turn I forgot my monologue and totally botched my song. I was a total embarrassment to poor faithful Ashley listening outside the audition room.

One would think, and hope, that this vivid memory would prevent me from ever putting myself through such embarrassment again. You'd think?!? Well, I guess it has been a few years since that unfortunate encounter. And, the sting of that audition has lessened because as my husband has now started to study for the bar (which really really stinks but that is a post for another time), I am trying to gather activities to keep myself busy. I have joined a swim team and book club and thought I needed about one more activity to keep myself busy. And why this thought popped into my head as a possibility I don't know, but I thought maybe I'd try out for a community play.

I didn't care about getting the lead or any important part really. I was just thinking if I scored a part in the chorus, I'd be thrilled to have another way to spend my evenings while my husband studies. I'm new to the area and didn't really know where you go to try our for community plays, but I had heard of the Hale Center Theatre, so I thought I'd try there.

After a quick google search, I learned they were auditioning for an up-coming musical called "All Shook Up." I guess it has some Elvis songs and is of course about some motorcycle dude who shows up in a 50s town, introduces the town to rock and roll, and the town becomes "all shook up." Sounded fun. The website gave a number to call to make an appointment for an audition. Auditions by appointment only! That should have been clue one that this was not the thing for me, but I ignored that warning and made an appointment.

I mentioned to someone at work that I intended to try out for a play at the Hale Center Theatre, and they quickly suggested that I try out for some other theatre company because the Hale Center was kind of "intense." Well, that should have been warning number 2, but I had already made an appointment to audition, so I figured I better go. I just decided from here on out, I wouldn't tell anyone I was auditioning, so as to make the sting of disappointment when I found I didn't get a part easier to bare.

I did discover the courage to ask my neighbor's husband, who accompanies the choir at church, to play the accompaniment of my audition piece for me so I could practice. And, I decided to tell my mother I was auditioning for All Shook Up. She new the play immediately. She said, "there's a lot of dancing in that show." Warning #3. Sing okay, act- my life is one big performance (just ask Derek), but dance not at all. The one major thing I regret about my childhood (and here it comes back to haunt me yet again)...not taking dance lessons. I blame my mother. All my little girls will take dance lessons, so I can live the life I never did through them.

The night of my audition Derek drove me to the audition site and walked me into the building. They handed me a piece of paper with my name printed on it and asked me to attach my resume to it. Warning 4. Resume? I didn't have one, I came with only the music for my audition piece. They said I could just hand write my previous experience on the back of the paper in that case. So, I did that. This sheet also spelled out, and this is major warning #5, how much one could expect to get paid for each performance. I should have just walked out to the car and left at this point with it being so glaringly obvious that this was not the place for me, but yet I pressed on.

So, this is what my friend meant by intense. This was not community theatre at all, this was a professional theatre company. They pay people to perform. This was not what I was trying to get myself into. Nonetheless, I went through with the audition. Walking into the audition room, I felt like I was trying out for American Idol. I handed my music to the pianist and stood in front of a table of judges all starring at me. I sang, the judged said thanks, you can go, and that was that. Except that all night long I could not sleep. I would close my eyes and see nothing but those unimpressed judges faces staring up at me.

I, of course, received no phone call asking me to come for a call back audition, and all dreams of being a professional actress on Broadway or even Hale Center theatre were shattered. It has now been about a month since that audition, and the sting over rejection has now lessened enough that I thought why not blog about it. So, there you go. My slate is cleared. Laugh if you will. And, don't anticipate any future posts about my auditioning adventures in the near future. It will probably take a few years for me to forget this experience yet again and audition for a real community theatre play.