Rule #1: Don't Ignore the Call

I'm sure this is one subject Derek would prefer I don't write about on the blog, so I guess this will have to be a post without preview (meaning I post it before Derek previews it). I find in general boys don't like to think about girls pooping.

My fellow classmates would for sure think this is odd, (because in fact, I myself think this is odd) but one of the most memorable lectures for me during PA school was one given by a gastroenterologist (a doctor who specializes in the intestines-- a poop doctor if you will).

I'm sure he talked about all kinds of diseases processes of the intestines, but the thing I most remember was his mini lecture on poop hygiene. He stated that he dealt with many individuals who struggled with constipation and proceeded to tell us hip tips for treating constipation. I'd don't remember the whole list, but for sure one thing on that list was "Don't ignore the call for defecation!"

This one statement has had profound impact in my life. And, I don't think it's necessarily rocket science. I mean I'm sure you have all had the experience of feeling like you really need to go #2, but you are not in a "convenient" location for that, so you decide to "hold it." Now, what inevitably always happens is that after a while you no longer have to go poo anymore. In fact, it may even be hours before the call to defecation returns. Right?

I don't think I've ever really struggled from constipation. But, after this guy's lecture, I for sure didn't want to start. So ever since, I have made that rule #1 in my pooping strategy. Don't ignore the call!

Now, this has at times led to some "inconvenient" unloads. For example, some people don't like to poop in public bathrooms. Well, the call can come at any time and anywhere, so my public bathroom phobia had to be totally eliminated. The other day I was grocery shopping in Walmart. The call came when I was not even nearly done getting everything on my list. No problem, I asked one checker to hold my basket, went into the restroom, did my deed, returned to my cart, thanked the check-stand lady, and continued on my shopping spree.

Some people don't like to poo in other people's restrooms, especially if they think someone else may enter that restroom soon after they do their deed. All I can say about this is, thank you to all those who stock their restrooms with those spray air fresheners. It has really helped down-play some of those inconvenient unloads. (Although, I think the person following you into the restroom has their suspicions when the room is over powered by the smell of air freshener. Oh well.)

Pooping at work is another one sort of similar to the one above. I'm proud to state that I believe all my coworkers know I poo. Another thought...sometimes, you think you shouldn't have to poo because you have already pooed once or twice that day. Who says you shouldn't poo 3 or 4 or 5 times a day? I do!

There is only one activity that I perform where I allow myself to ignore the call, and let me tell you... it is not pleasant. Has everyone heard of the runner's trots? Oh, they are the absolute worst! You enjoying a fabulous run when all of the sudden "the call" comes. And, I'm not sure if this is because I almost never ignore or call or what, but when the call comes in the form of the runner's trots, it really comes. It's all I can do to "hold it" and finish my run. But, you have to keep running because walking just delays nature's call, and you may totally miss the opportunity.

For those of you who don't know, I am currently training for a half marathon. This Saturday was my 10 mile run. Lindsay and I decided we'd run down Provo canyon and were going to meet at 7:15 am (on Saturday) near the Riverwoods Shops. I woke up in the morning hoping the call would come because I for sure did not want to experience 10 miles of ignoring the call. However, when I left the house to drive to my run location, the call had yet to come. I'm driving, driving, hoping the call will come. Finally, about half way there, the call comes! I see a Carl's Jr. They open their doors at 7am. It is 7:05 am! Thank you Carl's Jr. I run into their restroom, answer the call, and continue on my drive. Because of this, Lindsay and I had the most enjoyable run down the canyon Saturday morning. So in conclusion, don't ignore the call.

P.S. Did anyone get a free slurpee at 7-11 yesturday? It was 7/11/09, and I loved my free coke slurpee!!!