I've been encourgaged to make a new blog entry because a dear friend of mine is tired of looking at that awful picture of Derek and I. I don't blame her either. I thought she might enjoy this picture instead.
So, this is a thought I had the other day after my almost 30 minute shower. It was 30 minutes because I had to wash my face to remove all oils and prevent any sign of acne (a far fetched dream I know, but girls are not supposed to have acne, and if they do they are supposed to cover it up so no one can tell right?). Next, I proceeded to scrub my entire body with a pleasantly aromatic soap because girls are always supposed to smell great! Then, with shaving cream for baby soft skin lathered and in place, I shave both legs making sure to get the bikini line just in case I decide to show my body in a swim suit even though I have no plans to. Next, I wash and condition my hair with some expensive shampoo and conditioner for hair so healthy it shines. Somewhere in here Derek interupts my methodical showering to ask if I'm almost done because I'm taking forever. (I wonder why as I now have to flush the shampoo out of my eye that his interuption caused). I proceed by leaving the conditioner in place for a few minutes to get the full effect as I scrub my feet with a pumice stone because a lady's feet should show no sign of crack or roughness and also make sure not to forget to shave my arm pits. Really the amazing thing is that I was able to do all that in 30 minutes!
Then, after that exhausting time spent in the shower it is not done! I have to get dressed in some fashionable, presentable outfit that I haven't worn too often in the presence of anyone I may come in contact with that day so that no one will think I wear the same clothes over and over again. Next, I return to the bathroom where I spend a good 15 minutes making sure my face is presentable with make-up that blends with my skin tones, brings out the color in my eyes, and highlights my God-given facial features or lack thereof. The time is usually prolonged by my daily accidental smearing of mascara which I try to rub off, and in the process, also rub off all the eye shadow which then must be reapplied.
After this feat is completed, and it is a feat, I now have to style my hair. This requires putting in some product for wet hair, having the right arrangement of brushes and blow dryers (not to mention the staighteners and curling irons that most people also include), and then when finished, putting in some product for now dry hair. Then, after what has been an hour-long battle for beauty, I look in the mirror and think jeez...I hate the way I look today.
The thing that makes this whole process worse is that after I finished my shower, Derek got in. By the time I had picked out something to wear, he was already done. As I am still trying to decide which color eye shadow to apply, he walks into the bathroom wearing the same shirt he wears like every 3 days. He looks in the mirror as his hair basically falls into place and calls it good for the day. I ask, is this fair?
My whole question is WHY? Why do I have to wear make-up, style my hair, shave my legs and armpits, and pluck my eyebrows to be presentable to society. WHY? Who decided that this should be? I'm beginning to think the hippies I'm surrounded by here have the right idea. No make-up, don't shave, hair does whatever it wants, don't care what they wear. They are free-spirits, au naturel, and I'm beginning to think I just might join them.
16 comments:
I can't believe I'm the first to comment - I beat Becky! Why do we spend so much time and hate the result? And I hate the result every day, it seems. (I need a haircut - if you have ideas, send me pictures!) And I will continue to dislike men for their lack of primping time; it's just not fair.
And I'm glad I live on the other side of the country, so that I can't smell my dear friend Chelsea as she gives up the scented soaps and takes on the hippie lifestyle. Good luck, Derek!
Dido...just wait until you have kids, you hardly have time to shower and no time at all to even care what you look like. So there you go the solution is to have a baby and you can join the hippies cause some days I don't even make it to the shower!
Ah, I call the phenomenon "going native." I admit, I went native upon my arrival in Eugene. I did clean things up, though. Probably around the time "What Not to Wear" got on the air. My husband owes a lot to TLC.
You lucky girl, getting a half hour to shower. Guys do have it easier in the primping department but would you rather be a guy than a woman? No thanks.
Love the new title, by the way. Very inspiring.
Chels, you are hilarious. Getting ready is a hassle so I don't do it half of the time. But showering is still important - hippies stink too much so please don't become one of them. But if you go a few days without really doing your hair it is almost fun when you finally do. I am with Ilene, while boys have it easier I still wouldn't want to be one of them.
Thank you Chelsea, I know that was for me!! And I love the topic because after an hour or so of getting ready (which I have to do while Cali's sleeping) I still feel most like the Beast than Beauty. Lucky for me I gave up on wearing much make-up LONG ago so it makes in a little easier, but my long locks take forever and a day to dry and straighten so by the time I'm done with that coordinating something to wear tends to be nonexistent...same jeans and a different color shirt.
I do agree that though being a man might be easier, I would definitely not choose that route.
ps. I love the new title...and the title of the blog!!
Okay, that was really funny...and SO TRUE! The things we go through to try and look presentable, and then half the time when we're done primping we don't like the way we look! I think part of it is that we aren't blessed with the casual attitude that boys are...most of them don't care how they look...girls just aren't that way. I'm impressed you got a 30 minute shower...that's like 5 days worth of showering for me...over a 2 week period.
Oh man I just admitted how gross I am. Oh well, I call Eugene home so I guess it's okay.
Chels you are freakin hilarious! I love it. I totally agree too. That is why I have given up and joined the hippies. Don't tell Raleigh though, I'm still trying to fool him most days!
Chel, don't do it!! I have an alternitive to joining the hippies: move to Hawaii!! Then you won't have to wear makeup, shave your legs, do your hair, and you can wear men's basketball shorts every day! Even to work! I must admit that every time i came back to the mainland when living there I looked around and thought, hey, I'm really ugly. This would inspire me to wear makeup again, but usually only for the duration of our mainland trip.
Chelsea, I love you! (And Ashley, look how many people beat me -- you weren't the only one!) Okay, Chelsea, I have to share this for all those who never lived with you . . . you don't have leg hair to shave! Okay, maybe you do, but the last time you shaved was probably 4 months ago, and it was just starting to get a TINY bit prickly, so you thought it was probably time, right? On the plus side of all of this (which I totally agree with, by the way -- please tell me why I insist on wearing makeup everyday, even when I just stay at home some of those days? I think I'm afraid of someone delivering a surprise package for me and seeing me makeup-less -- OH the horror!!) at least you have a full wardrobe to choose from. I am rotating through 4 shirts right now trying to hide my fatty-enough-to-look-fat-but-not-pregnant belly. I pretty much hate getting dressed every morning, because I don't want to pick out which shirt to wear that I already wore that week. Blah. Sounds like I'm on the same outfit schedule as Derek. And now I'm done.
Yes, of course I meant you...I am so glad that we are back in touch, tell Derek hi. And didn't you know that once you are married you don't have to fool anyone anymore. It's okay and oh so normal for girls to stink, have hairy legs, rough feet, acne, etc. etc. But I will say enjoy those thiry minute showers while you can.
Amen to this post! It is crazy all the things that we do to get ready. I agree with everyone saying how amazing it would be to take a 30 min. shower. Take one for me. Boys have it way too easy!
Hi Chels, something I do,is of course do hair and makeup for the days I work, and the days I don't, I skip out on the hair and makeup. I guess I don't care if I run into people who have spent all that time making themselves up becuase I assume they enjoy doing it whereas I don't. If I were to become super rich I would hire my own beautician to do my hair & makeup everyday. How does that sound?
Oh Chels- you are so insightful. It takes me FOR-E-VER (imagine Squints from Sandlot saying that) to get ready, and I really do try to be fast. Oh well... just another womanly woe!
OK Chelsea...I'm done looking at the nasty hippies. NEXT...
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